124. Alpine Antics (1936)

Release date: March 9th, 1936

Series: Looney Tunes

Director: Jack King

Starring: Billy Bletcher (Bully), Jack Carr (Race Starter)

Another Beans cartoon by king, featuring his girlfriend Kitty and a Peg Leg Pete facsimile. Beans plans to enter a skiing contest, and his motives for winning are pushed further when a bully brews up trouble.

Open to a winter landscape, everyone skiing and skating. Three snowmen sing “She Was an Acrobat’s Daughter” as “She Was an Ice Skater’s Daughter” while a Clarabelle Cow facsimile skates right up against the screen, animation smooth and crisp. The singing snowmen have their own 15 seconds of fame, melting in front of a roaring fire to end the song.

More ice centered gags ensue—a dog boils some water over a fire and pours it into a hole in the ice, hoping for a quick dip. Predictably, the genius pops up frozen in an ice cube. Elsewhere, three horses wearing sweaters that spell out “SOS” skate in a line, a tiny dog skating beneath their legs. The entire scene is reminiscent of the opening scene in Bosko in Dutch. A turtle dances on the ice, when he and his reflection get separated. The gags aren’t laugh out loud hilarious, but the visuals are appealing.

Enter Beans and Kitty. Beans pushes kitty in a sled, occasionally hopping on the back for the ride. He brakes in front of a cabin (the break being a boot attached to a lever) to read a flyer posted on the wall. The flyer boasts a ski race, promoting $100,000,000 in prizes “or a cool $2.00 cash to the winner!” a classic that will appear in many a cartoon.

Beans is ecstatic. He snags a pair of spare skis and declares “Big race today, Kitty! Oh boy, watch me win that race!” a Peg Leg Pete facsimile (more so than usual—this time he’s an actual cat, of course voiced by Billy Bletcher. I don’t know if I explicitly mentioned it but I’ve always implied it—Bletcher also voiced Pete in the original Disney cartoons) hides behind a tree, menacingly chuffing on a cigar so you know he’s hot shit. He approaches Beans and picks him up by the skis. He asserts his kindness by sliding Beans off of the skis and flicking him off his own pair before breaking beans’ skis over his knees. A reasonable fella.

Rightfully so, Beans is pissed, shaking his fist, sticking out his tongue, shadow boxing, tapping his foot, promising he’ll show him. He rips the seat portion of the sled off, and thus has his own makeshift pair of skis. Hope Kitty didn’t want to do any more sledding. Two conveniently placed straps are under the skis, which he ties around his feet and shuffles off towards the big race.

Porky makes a cameo at the starting line, riding a rocking horse into battle. The bully is confidently waiting for the start, yet his pride deflates as soon as he notices Beans adorning new skis. He grimaces at Beans, who innocently laughs in return. A turtle referee checks his clock—time is ticking. The bully also recognizes this, and thusly pulls out a rocket from his pocket. He swipes Beans’ hat over his head so he can’t see, creating the perfect distraction as he ties the rocket to one of Beans’ skis and lights it. And, of course, Beans  is sent rocketing backwards, flying right into a cabin and shooting out of the roof. He lands in the snow in a daze as the bully gives a trademark belly laugh.

The bully’s timing was just right. A fire of the pistol and the race is off. The bully speeds ahead on his skis, Porky rides his horse into battle, a dog takes off with a makeshift sailboat, and another struggles to get his exercise bike through the snow. Though Beans  is already at a disadvantage, his optimism is seldom flattened. He skis right where he is, the bully already in a steady lead.

Visuals galore as we spot the racers. The biker sends snow flying right into Porky’s face, a dog pumps a bellows into a sail, a duck rides a wiener dog donning skis, the essentials. Beans is finally on the course, spreading his legs to avoid a tree trunk and conversely compacting his body as he passes between two trunks. The bully takes time to admire his lead, once more laughing. He shreds down a slope and jumps off, pulling a string to summon a parachute and ensure safely. As he floats lazily in the sky, he makes attempts to ski in the air.

Cue the dirty tricks. The bully spins around a tree to stop himself, tying a rope to one of his ski poles. He jabs the pole into a neighboring tree and effectively creates a tripwire. One by one, his victims fall into place (literally): the cycling dog falls headfirst into the snow, spinning his bike upside down. Porky’s next, he and his rocking horse both shaking their tails in the snow. Next the sail boat dog, and even the three little pigs(?), also shaking their tails like Porky. Next is Beans’ turn, who barrels into the pole with enough force that the pole is loosened and the bully’s contraption ties around him instead.

Beans has now secured the lead... for now. The bully is fueled with extra motivation and vitriol to beat beans, puffing out his chest and breaking his bonds. Beans slides over a hill, his skis getting lodged in the side of a mountain. And, of course, the bully flies right over his head, once more in the winning seat. To make matters worse, the duck and wiener dog duo are fast approaching. They slide UNDER the mountain, and barrel into Beans from under, propelling him into the air. The duck briefly rides the dog like a tire, until a jump cut has them back in regular formation, the cut a bit discombobulated and incoherent.

The duck honks at the bully to get out of the way, who, of course, does everything but that. Therefore, the duck turns the wiener dog sideways and knocks straight into the bully. Their glory is hardly reveled in: they crash into a tree, the dog wrapping around the tree and pinning the duck. Next comes Beans, who uses the bully’s skis lodged into the snow as a ramp.

The chase is now exclusively focused on Beans and the bully. Beans hits a slope that flings him into the air, and once more he lands behind the bully. Nevertheless, they weave in and out of trees, Beans managing to pass the bully. Another slope sends the bully flying forward, landing straight on beans’ shoulders. They pass a cabin, the bully riding on the roof and landing back on beans’ shoulders. They’re broken up once the bully runs into a tree branch, spiraling up the tree and back down. He’s flung forward, about to hit the finish line...

...until he crashes into an ice patch, the ice propelling him underwater. Beans rides over the reversible ice, skidding across the finish line. Finally, a winner! Yet, another ice patch (or perhaps the same one?) bucks Beans forward as the bully pops his head out, clearly upset at his loss. Iris out as Beans pokes his head out from his own ice hole, staring incredulously at the audience.

Not the most coherent Beans cartoon. This is one of the rare Beans cartoons I had seen before, and overall remembered nothing about it. I can see why. There aren’t many gags but more so visuals that are all tired out and lose their punch. Many times the story lapsed in coherence—at the end, the bully is clearly thrown into an ice patch that lies BEFORE the finish line, since Beans skids past it and slides over the line afterwards. Yet, the patch is shown to be inside the line at the end. Of course, with many of these cartoons, suspension of disbelief plays an important role, but here it’s just not believable. Believability can make or break a cartoon (believable does not equal realistic! Stick to what you’re specializing in, no matter how absurd the plot is. A plot can be absurd but still believable). Probably best to skip, but it isn’t a cartoon that’s terrible. The animation is certainly nice in some spots. Just a relatively mediocre cartoon that I probably won’t be watching again anytime soon.

Link!