98. I Haven't Got a Hat (1935)

Release date: March 2nd, 1935

Series: Merrie Melodies

Director: Friz Freleng

Starring: Joe Dougherty (Porky), Berneice Hansell (Kitty, Ham, Ex), Elvia Allman (Miss Cud), Purv Pullen (Dogs)

The fated day at last, the day the world was shook to its core... kind of. I Haven't Got a Hat marks the introduction of our favorite Porky Pig, along with a few others: Beans, Ham and Ex, Little Kitty, and Oliver Owl. Buddy’s lack of success was obvious. He couldn’t adequately fill the gap that Bosko had left. Thus, this cartoon serves as a “free for all”, introducing a number of new characters to see who would work out the best. Beans was looking to be the star of the new franchise, but his stuttering sidekick was much more endearing to audiences. To put it this way, Beans starred in 9 cartoons. Porky starred in 153. Buddy would continue to have a few cartoons afterwards, bidding his last “That’s all, folks” with Buddy the Gee-man. 1936 would see a rise in Porky cartoons, thanks to Jack King, Tex Avery, and Frank Tashlin. But for now, we’ll focus on this cartoon. Various school children put on a musical and recital, but trouble arises when Beans’ jealousy causes the show to run amuck.

Right off the bat, we’re introduced to our selection of characters. Miss Cud, “school teacher”—a Clarabelle Cow facsimile who rings her school bell cheekily. Beans, a mischievous cat introduced by eating jam by the fistfuls. An offscreen voice yells “HEY!”, to which Beans responds by sticking out his tongue after wiping the offending jam off his face. Very amusing to note how different in personality he is here, a rambunctious, mischievous kid. In the rest of his filmography, he's essentially Buddy in a cat suit. This whole introduction scene is great—forcing some personality out of these characters. Porky and Oliver Owl are next, Porky giving a happy salute and Oliver Owl pretentiously tipping his hat. Ham and Ex, two troublemaking twins, spot the camera and eagerly whisper to each other. They’d be featured in a few Beans cartoons, usually causing trouble that Beans has to remedy.

An underscore of “I Haven’t Got a Hat” plays jauntily as we’re introduced to the scenario: a flyer posted on the side of the schoolhouse reading “MUSICAL and RECITAL — sponsored by the children of this school for the benefit of teachers and parents — ALL CHILDREN ARE ELIGIBLE!” Sure enough, happy parents stream inside with their kids. A mother cat and her child, a mother dog and her two pups, a mother pig and her three little pigs, and a mother hen with her long line of chicks that zigzag inside, a straggler catching up.

Once all the parents and children are settled, Miss Cud rings her cowbell to introduce the show, stating “we will now open our exercises with a recitation by our little friend, Porky Pig.” Porky misses the cue, too engrossed with the book “Custer’s Last Stand”. Beans glares at Porky, tapping on his book and signaling for him to go up.

Porky meanders his way to the front of the schoolhouse and recites “The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere”. As always, his stuttering gets in the way of his presentation.

Here’s the thing about Joe Dougherty—I’ve really come to appreciate him. There certainly is that “poor guy” feeling when you listen to him characterize Porky because of his actual uncontrollable stutter, but I don’t think it’s THAT painful to listen to. Maybe because I’ve seen all of the Dougherty Porkys. Honestly, I think his most “painful” performance is here and in Gold Diggers of ‘49, which were his first two cartoons. It’s not even the stuttering, but then figuring out how to perfect his character. His voice is especially high, aluminum sounding in this one, and in gold diggers it isn’t sped up at all, and sounds rather jarring to hear Joe Dougherty’s natural voice, which is VERY deep. Joe Dougherty would use his regular speaking voice for Porky’s father, in cartoons such as Porky the Rain Maker and Milk and Money. I think the stuttering is the most “out of control” here—I really don’t find his performances that bad at all. I think it really fits him, especially when he was so chubby. It’s really odd to hear Mel do Porky in his chubby design in Porky’s Double Trouble.

(My) blabbering aside, Porky recites the poem, exerting so much effort that he begins to sweat—wonderful animation done by Bob McKimson. Once he finishes the first stanza, he imitates a horse, complete with slapping his butt like a whip. He gives another stanza, whipping out an American flag and marching to “The Girl I Left Behind Me”. He recites some more, (even confusing poems and reciting a snippet of “The Charge of the Light Brigade”), declaring “Cannon to the right of them!” I love the little inkling of personality as he deliberately points to the left (which actually WOULD be his right), recognizing his mistake and pointing the other direction. A turtle drums on its stomach with some mallets.

“Cannon to the left of them!” another wrong direction: this scene is especially amusing because of his determined expression, so confident in his delivery. What a ham. A dog tilts a basket of lightbulbs, breaking them one by one to imitate the sound of gunshots.

Porky struggles to finish his poem, and the entire classmates whistle at him to get it over with—a reoccurring gag in the Dougherty era. The whistle plays out like a dog whistle, an army of dogs playfully licking and hopping on Porky, who walks backwards out of the scene as the children applaud. Quite an introduction! 

Miss Cud introduces “Little Kitty”, who’d serve as Beans’ love interest in the Beans cartoons. She’s obviously reluctant to go on, panicking and struggling against her parent’s arms. The parent gives her a final push as she stumbles on stage. She pauses before reciting “Mary had a little... a little... uh...” She seeks Miss Cud for help, who mouths “lamb!” and provides a picture. Kitty beams and continues “Lamb! It’s fleece was white as... white as...” 

Once more, Miss Cud displays thinly veiled frustration as she tosses cornflakes above her head to imitate snow. Berneice Hansell's delivery is great as Kitty says “cornflakes!” with such utter confidence. She corrects herself bashfully, and what continues is a very nervous, possibly the most annoying yet entertaining recitation of Mary Had a Little Lamb. It’s amusing to watch her pace around and grimace, wringing her dress. Her voice gets pitched up higher and higher, speeding up so her open is borderline incomprehensible. It’s certainly annoying and technology rather primitive, but amusing because of that. The best part is when she runs out of the school building and heads for home, her voice fading away as she’s still frantically reciting it.

Next is Ham and Ex, who sing the criminally catchy “I Haven’t Got a Hat”. Berneice Hansell's squeaky voice singing the lyrics matched with Billy Bletcher’s deep bass voice of “Bom bom bom bom” makes the perfect contrast, especially as ex sings the bass line and squats with each “bom”.

Elsewhere, Bob Clampett animates a scene of Beans and Oliver, who are both bored by the performance—Beans especially. Oliver snacks on some candy canes, to which beans eagerly extends his arms towards. Oliver tricks him into giving him a piece, stuffing it in his mouth and sticking his tongue out at the last minute. Man, what a jerk! I’d be pissed too! Especially amusing to watch Beans silently mutter obscenities are Oliver as the song continues on.

Once the song ends, Miss Cud introduces Oliver. If the introduction where he haughtily tips his hat or when he denies beans food isn’t enough of an indicator for his snobby personality, Miss Cud introduces him as “Master Oliver Owl” as a very confident musician. A great scene as Oliver grins at Beans, but remembers his rivalry. He stalks off with his nose (beak?) in the air, his peppermint ripe for the picking. Beans reaches over for it eagerly... until Oliver runs back into the scene and snatches it away, scowling.

Oliver plays a standard “school kid playing piano for the class” tune. Beans isn’t impressed... until an idea hatches. He sneaks out of the classroom, where he spots a sleeping cat on a ladder right outside the window. Perfect! He opens the lid of the piano and drops the cat in, his sabotage unfolding as he spots a dog and drops it inside, too. What a little bastard! I wish they kept him that way.

At once, the keys start playing for themselves, a thunderous rendition of “Poet and Peasant Overture”. Oliver ogles in astonishment as the keys (great animation) wiggle on their own, the piano jumping up and down as the dog and cat duke it out inside. Friz’s musical timing is excellent, and Oliver’s reactions are priceless as he doesn’t even know what to do with himself. Everyone claps thunderously as he stares at the audience in astonishment.

Not one to question his unseen methods, Oliver recognizes he is receiving glory and eats it up. Unfortunately, he stops in his tracks once the piano continues to play. The dog and the cat leap out of the piano and chase each other around, Oliver’s head spinning as he attempts to keep track of the chase. He grins nervously and sweats, his performance exposed.

All the kids boo and hiss, except for Beans, who’s laughing outside the window. Oliver spots him and squirts green ink on him in retaliation. Beans falls off the ladder and lands on a bench, which throws both Beans AND a can of red paint into the window. The paint can lands right on Oliver’s head, Beans toppling next to him. They exchange bewildered looks, and their rivalry is transformed into camaraderie as they shake hands. Iris out.

Obviously, I’m pretty biased since Porky is one of my favorite characters in animation. However, I truly think this is a really good cartoon, and probably one of the best we’ve seen. The attempt to really get some personality out of these characters is absolutely there. Facial acting, body language, acting in GENERAL, it’s all there. The characters are all endearing, even Oliver. Some beautiful animation, especially the Porky scenes by Bob McKimson and the piano scene with the dog and cat. Nothing feels too drawn out—of course, Porky’s recitation is VERY long, but that’s also the point. It’ll be interesting to see how Joe Dougherty improves—maybe I just feel bad for the guy, but I think he needs some more credit. Anyway, VERY good cartoon. The song is dreadfully catchy! If anything, it’s certainly worth watching for its historical significance. Even then, it’s just an entertaining, light-hearted, fun cartoon.

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