18. You Don't Know What You're Doin'! (1931)

Release date: October 21st, 1931

Series: Merrie Melodies

Director: Rudolf Ising

Starring: Johnny Murray (Piggy), The King's Men (Drunkards), Orlando Martin (Car)

Exit Foxy, enter Piggy! Piggy would have an even shorter career than Foxy, spanning only 2 cartoons (his next short being our first entry in the censored 11, further obscuring any chances of notoriety). His name is derived from a childhood classmate of Friz Freleng, a pair of brothers who were named “Porky” and “Piggy” (Freleng would go on to create our favorite stuttering pig in I Haven’t Got a Hat in 1935). In this cartoon, Piggy and a group of men get drunk at a theatre, making for a wild string of surreal imagery as they go on a wild goose chase after a car.

Our story begins with a criminally catchy display of the titular song “You Don't Know What You're Doin'!”. The lion maestro conducts the orchestra, and gets so caught up in the swing that his pants (“pants”) fall down. Embarrassed, he hikes them back up as the song blazes on.

There’s a rather impressive crowd shot of the crowd bottlenecking into the theatre (reminds me of Picador Porky and Porky and Daffy to name a few). What a shot! These crowd shots would drastically improve in the next few years, but for 1931, this is impressive. Next we meet our hero, Piggy, who’s puttering along on his motorcycle. He has a sidecar handy, which clues us in that he’s headed to pick someone up.

Sure enough, he pulls into the driveway of a house, his bike sputtering and stalling to a halt.

A silhouette shot reveals Piggy’s motives: he’s here to pick up his girlfriend, who’s happily scatting away while literally powdering her nose. Piggy pokes the stomach of a cherub statue blowing on a horn, prompting an actual car horn to blare. Piggy, being the charmer he is, skips straight to the point: “Make it snappy, Fluffy!” Fluffy is undeterred by his bluntness and coos “Okay, baby!” 

There’s another crowd shot pouring into the theatre before focusing on the lovebirds, puttering along on their way. Piggy’s faulty bike conveniently stalls out as they approach the theatre, with a guard laughing at the failure. Piggy and Fluffy hop out of the bike, crawling under the guard’s legs with their snouts in the air. The bike takes a life of its own and also stalks away, blowing a fume of exhaust in the face of the guard. We get yet another blackface gag where the guard cries “Mammy!” in reference to Al Jolson. As always (and I have a feeling I’ll be saying this quite often in many a review), I could easily do without the blackface. Again, I understand that it was in reference to Al Jolson who was a bit of a powerhouse at the time (and would continue to be), but still.

Piggy and Fluffy make their way into the theatre, where the lion maestro is conducting away. Piggy goes up to a hippo playing in the band, laughs, and pulls his concert bib(? Flap? White thing?), launching the hippo (rightfully) into an indistinct tirade. Fine with their cruelty, Piggy and Fluffy take their seats.

The concert rages on, complete with a line of cat dancers in the background. The lion conducts the bird playing a horn, whose body stretches thinner and taller as he gets more involved. Eventually, the lion gets fed up at the bird’s upstaging and hits him on the head. I just want to add, I LOVE the asbestos curtain. Things that get funnier as they age! 

Fluffy enjoys the concert, clapping and beaming. Piggy, not so much. He hops out of his seat and blows a raspberry in protest.

Initiating another lyrical music sequence, Piggy protests “You don't know what you're doin'!” A horse playing in the orchestra speaks with his trombone, blowing “Oh yeah? Is that so?” Piggy marches up on stage, picking up a spare saxophone and responding “Yes, that’s so!” The two laugh into their respective instruments, and Piggy launches into a saxophone rendition of “Silver Threads Among the Gold”.

However, he’s interrupted by the sound of offscreen humming to the same song. The sound is from a group of drunk dogs, who laugh and insist “You don’t know what you’re doin’!” 

Piggy and the drunks jump into a call and response singing battle, insisting that the other party doesn’t know what they’re doin’. The music is delightful! The drunks sing in some beautiful harmonies, and the underscore is lush and catchy, the syncopation of the music furthering the effect. It’s certainly an earworm and definitely worthy of a listen.

Once the song is finished, the drunks are greeted by applause. The main dog in the middle gets a swell head, bowing and eating the attention up. He eats it so much that he topples over the box seat, bounces off a timpani drum and lands on the stage, much to Piggy (and the audience)’s amusement, who laughs at him.

Nevertheless, the drunk is undeterred. He pulls out a bottle and takes a few swigs, stumbling around and burping in Piggy’s face. The dangers of second hand drinking! Piggy himself gets inebriated from the impact. Alcohol has always been used as a comedy device. Quite honestly, I think it’s funnier in this era. We’re still in prohibition, and we have all these cartoons about getting drunk! I guess if you can’t have a drink, the next best thing is watching some cartoon characters drink it for you.

Piggy and the dog stumble out of the theatre, and we’re launched into this beautifully surreal scene. Piggy steals the dog’s drink and pours it into the engine of his own car, causing the car to get drunk. The car hiccups and “sings” along to the music, vocals provided by Orlando Martin. He sounds great as the car! Not unlike the adults in the Peanuts television specials.

Edit: It was actually Martin playing into the trombone rather than speaking—that’s what I assumed, but didn’t specify here. Oops! 

This scene is pretty hard to describe, other than beautifully surreal! The best thing to do is check it out for yourself. The car gets startled and runs (drives?) away from Piggy. Piggy chases after it, stumbling and trying to maintain his balance. The drunken dog also pursues in the chase just for the hell of it.

I can’t stress this enough, the visuals are stunning! This entire scene parallels another drunken frenzy in lady, play your mandolin!, though the surreal and imaginative nature of it all reminds me of Porky in Wackyland. Clock towers come to life, shaking their hips, sewer drains roar like monsters, lampposts gallop like horses... it’s beautiful! 

Thankfully for Piggy and the dog, the drunken hallucinations soften as they land in the bed of a truck. The truck, clearly startled, gallops away and dumps them off the edge of a cliff where they land squarely in a trash can. Drunken spirits rage on, as the two exclaim “whoopee!”. Iris out.

Without a doubt, this is my favorite cartoon so far. It’s beautiful! The pacing is just right. It’s definitely on par with the cartoons we’d be seeing in the late 30s and early 40s during the black and white era. The music is fantastic, with beautiful harmonies, a terrific underscore, swinging jazz... It’s such a spirit raiser! The only downfall is the blackface gag. I absolutely recommend this cartoon if you‘re in the need for something feel-good. If you don’t watch it, well, you don’t know what you’re doin’!